So yesterday I was struck by this thought of goal weight and balance. I will be ten months out from a revision to gastric bypass on February 18 and at this point I’ve officially lost 70lbs and I’m very proud of that accomplishment. It’s funny because when I started this journey I was convinced that if I didn’t hit 157 (my original personal goal weight) I’d be disappointed. Then when I met Dr. Schumacher and basically forced him to give me a goal number, he said based on my height and frame size between 155-165 and I was like, “yep cool that’ll put me at 157, then I saw him in November and he said realistically 165 would be more appropriate due to my muscle mass. I giggle even typing that sentence, me? Muscle mass, um ok?!! But that number had to sink in and take several months to “settle” in my brain and it’s been resonating ever since.
Then yesterday happened.
Nothing major to be honest, just my brain on overdrive. Maybe it was too much caffeine, lol
I’ll be honest 165 even feels like light years away BUT it’s light years away from 250 where I started and definitely light years away from 315 where I originally started!! So as I battle the 1.4lbs lbs of Valentine’s day sugar. Yesterday’s conclusion was this….
When I get to 165 IF my body loses more, fine, if not, fine. I’ll be happy and fully satisfied because as I graze 179, The 170s feel great! My body feels great for the first time since I can even think back and remember, so that’s amazing and the reality? A number didn’t do that!! There are so many non-scale victories that again a number didn’t do them, of course it has helped to lose weight and I am FOREVER grateful to have found Dr. Schumacher.
Am I giving up?
I’m just simply saying that today I’m choosing to be happy with my so far progress and continue to push toward 157
BUT I’m certainly not going to be disappointed if I end up at 165 and
I’m certainly not going to talk to myself negatively anymore because
It’s NOT worth it!!
I’ve lost 70lbs in TEN months…..TEN and I’m falling in love with myself, my God and my husband more than I have ever before.
My take away from yesterday’s brain barrage?
The goal isn’t the number
The goal truly IS healthy
Mind. Body. Spirit.