’s been a little over a month since the last time I wrote a blog post. Honestly, I just feel like I haven’t had a ton to write about, but this morning I figured I’d atleast check in, jot down some thoughts and post away.
We’ve lived in the Chicagoland area now a little over 2 months and I can say I honestly LOVE it. My husband HATES it here, he drives over an hour to work, so of course that taints his view and Illinois drivers are in their own class for sure. Personally, I don’t think they are as bad as Texas drivers BUT I’m also only ever driving about 5 miles away from our home, so I’m sure I’m a bit biased. Yep he HATES his commute, but his job is fine and he’s learning a lot. We still haven’t found a church and that royally stinks, but we are actively looking and I believe that God will lead us to the church He wants us to jump on board with in His timing.
As for me personally, I’m doing well. I’ll be 6 months’ post op on October 18 and I can honestly say WOW, this gastric bypass journey has been super fun and challenging, but more so fun than anything. I am so thankful to have the surgical program I do in Dayton, Ohio. Yes, I will continue to follow up with them. Prior to moving my surgeon said he could refer me to someone in the Chicagoland area as he went to medical school here, but I said absolutely not!!! I had switched programs after my botched sleeve and I just feel like when you see a surgeon who hasn’t cut on you and won’t cut on you, they just don’t care as much. He was fine with me driving back to see him. AND really good friends of mine just retired from the Air Force and live in Dayton, so as a bonus I’ll get to see them every now and then, so it’s a win win.
My biggest struggle currently is fearing that I’ll need a revision at some point in the future. See, I’m in this FB group called “Bariatric Revision and Regain” and people who’ve had bypass and are as early out as 4 years are revising and that SCARES ME TO DEATH!!!!!! I honestly NEVER want another revision. I NEVER want to do ANYTHING to stretch out my pouch or stoma. And I’m finally over the stenosis I had immediately post op and I’ll be honest that stenosis, while at the time was very scary, definitely kept my eating in check. Now my prayer is that my hunger would NEVER return!!!! But time will tell about that. At the present moment, almost 6 months out, I’m not hungry at all and find that as long as I meet fluid goals of 64 oz daily, food is eh whatever. I still don’t like how most dense protein feels in my pouch especially chicken or eggs, but my nutritionist said this can be normal since I’m a revision from sleeve I could have some scar tissue and that’s it’s completely fine that I get most of my protein from Greek yogurt and shakes, so I’ll stick to that for now.
Then there is the irrational fear that all of this will end and I’ll wake up one day at 315 lbs again. Because I’m not going to lie, I love curbs and not the good ones, I like the bad carbs and sadly they don’t make me dump really. Yes I’ve eaten some because guess what I’m human.
My surgeon’s weight goal range for me is 155-165 based on my height and frame size and most days I wonder if I’ll ever get out of the 190s. but the revelation hit me this morning that long gone are the days when I was losing 2 plus pounds a week and I need to come to terms with this. At this point, I’m weighing in at 192.4 I desperately want to see 188.9 by the 18th because initially my surgeon said I’d lose 60lbs in 6 months. Jeff is like, “Angie you are almost there, my goodness quiet getting caught up on the number” and he’s right and honestly I’m not…..completely like I used to be. I guess in my mind, if I hit that number that EVERYTHING my surgeon has said can be FULLY trusted, is that makes sense and then maybe I really do have a shot of hitting my ultimate goal weight of 157, which is half of my highest weight number, I hope that makes sense. At the VERY least it’ll help me not second guess choosing bypass over the DS
Anyway, I digress……I am super happy with my program and the amount of weight I’m losing and where I’m at physically.
Ive been running 2 days a week on the treadmill at the gym and LOVE IT!!! I’m STILL doing the C25K app, something I’ve been working on since 2013 and this is a HUGE personal NSV for me. I’m currently on Week 4/Day 3 which means my longest run consists of running straight for FIVE minutes and I’m currently able to hold this pace at 5.0 on the treadmill, this coming from a 315-pound girl who was dying on a 45 second run at 4.6, I find this fascinating and am IN LOVE with running on the treadmill. I don’t know that I would ever run alone outside as my cousin was just tragically killed running outside a couple of months ago. I may, once I finish the app, enroll in a local 5K, that Was always the goal, but time will tell with that. Oh and also, I don’t advance the app as it calls for. It calls for a run 3 days a week, I only run 2 because I’m old and just starting to run at 41. Now this week I’m going to attempt to run 3 times a week because I love it, not because I feel like I have to. The motto I’ve been embracing with running is slow and steady wins my race. I’m on no time line. This in and of itself is also a MASSIVE NSV for me.
I’m also still lifting weights. I decided that I want to have a runner’s body with some muscle definition. I’m not looking to EVER be bodybuilder show ready, but I do enjoy lifting and feeling strong. So for the moment I’m falling in love with the challenge of running and lifting weights, but this is every evolving and changing. I know one thing for sure is that I will always be a gym rat!!
So that’s a little about me to bring you up to date and say “HI”
PS: I no longer go to the gym when that GM is there, my daughter and I go at 5am when they open, which it’s a GREAT crowd, bunch of serious lifters/athletes…..we’ve found our niche