Reformed Whore

Someone asked the questions in a WLS group, “how often do you weigh yourself since surgery?” and someone responded, “everyday because I’m a scale whore” and I got the biggest laugh by this statement, but then I stopped dead in my tracks because while I haven’t been weighing EVERY day, although this week it feels like it, I thought for a second, “I have been a scale whore” seriously BIG time and this needs to change in my life ASAP!!! But then this really cool thing happened this morning. You see, I have done a bunch of research on what studies as well as professionals say about the best day to “weigh-in” per week and the resounding answer that I’ve found is WEDNESDAYS, so before I began my journey into revision surgery I thought to myself, “I’m going to make Wednesdays my weigh in days and call them Weigh-In Wednesdays. Of course this was my strategic plan because prior to revision surgery I was weighing on Wednesdays AND Saturdays, which in hindsight was stupid but there for a while I was weighing every stinking day and the fluctuations were driving me bonkers. With the sleeve my weight loss was so uneventful and no real pattern seemed to exist that I felt like I HAD to weigh and then tweak my diet and exercise accordingly. I was driving myself nuts, and becoming overly obsessed. It also didn’t help that I had a surgeon telling me that I’d only get to 222 with HER sleeve and so for 2 ½ years I felt like not only was I up against a clock, BUT I also had to prove her wrong. Looking back now I see that this only drove my paranoia and excessive need to “stay on top of things” but then this really beautiful thing happened…..

I found my Bariatric revisionist surgeon and his kindness and honesty put my mind and heart at ease. Maybe it was my ability to hear him when he gave me a goal weight I’d get to with RNY. Or maybe it was just my willingness to fully commit to being a Bariatric patient for the first time ever, I don’t really know? I like to think it was God’s work in me making me ready for this new journey, either way, it’s taken me until today actually to really put my full confidence in this weight loss process……because well I’m slow. I guess in my mind the magic number has been 215…..my thought process has been “Angie just get back to 215 and then only start weighing weekly” You see 215 puts me at 100lbs lost from my highest weight of 315. I weighed 315 in November 2013 the day I walked into the MO bariatric surgeon’s office wanting the sleeve. Anyway, in my brain I have been thinking once I get back to 215 I’ll change my ways. Well this has been an odd week. I’m in Sandusky, MI, driving an hour one way to visit with my dad in a rehab hospital. NOTHING has gone the way I anticipated. So I’ve been, once again, obsessing over the scale. I have weighed Monday, Tuesday AND this morning. Monday I weighed 216.8, Tuesday I weighed 215.4, so last night I was thinking, “OK tomorrow is Wednesday, I’ll make that my “official” Weigh-In Wednesday and hope that I lost point 4 to get to 215. Well imagine my absolute utter shock this morning when I jumped on the scale this morning and it read 213.6 I was blown away and then quickly realized, “oh yeah dummy you have an actual skilled and highly experienced surgeon who has told you that you’ll easily get to 155-165, so you better start believing him!!!!” He also told me that I’d lost 50 lbs in 6 months, well at the rate I’m losing I’ll hit that goal easily in potentially 3-4 months. That’s only FIFTEEN pounds from today. So all of that to say…..I AM REFORMED. Suddenly I feel like I can ease up, trust that my body IS losing weight and begin to ONLY weigh in on Wednesdays. So my commitment to myself is to trust this new process, realize that this new journey is NO WHERE near my sleeve journey because after all  I am no longer a sleevers, but a full-fledged bypass patient AND not only that I am now working with a highly experienced and heavily skilled bariatric surgeon and his staff. Soooo I know that I’ll reach my personal goal of 157 and possibly even hit my surgeon’s lowest weight for me of 155.

The best is yet to come so stay tuned.

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