Bye Felicia: Some People are just Nasty


We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5


Have you heard the saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” I think I heard this from some movie growing up and I’ll be honest I have no idea what it means!! When my enemies make themselves known to me, especially on Facebook, I just unfriend them or be unfriended. Because let me be honest, most of the people on my Facebook have been added as a result of my first weight loss surgery back in 2014 and those that are still on my “friend” list have been supportive, KIND and encouraging, which if you read this blog, let me just say THANK YOU!!!! It means more to me than you’ll ever know.

Yesterday was a day plagued with a bunch of WLS jerks that were HORRIBLE in some way to me yesterday and then suddenly I realized these people are my enemies, and not people I NEED to keep around, so bam, it happened again.

Today it’s caused me to really take an inventory of who I want to keep around and who is an unnecessary distraction in my life.

It all started when I joined a WLS Fitness Freaks group. I was pretty excited about it because all these people had had weight loss surgery and were now lifting weights and exercising.

This is a rare find!

I was pretty stoked to have found this group.

There were 2 guys in particular that seemed to lead the group and be the “knowledge gurus” so to speak. I friended them on Facebook and continued to be active in the group,

until I wasn’t anymore….

Here’s what happened: one of these guys posted a video of himself doing pushdowns and in the background of the video was another gym goer (not affiliated with this particular group and probably not a WLS person even) doing seated rows. Well the background guy, while he had good form, seemed to be overkilling his pull on the row, I suggested he should INCREASE his weight and all hell broke loose….

Immediately I got jumped on by about 3 members of the group, “are you kidding me, INCREASE the weight, no way!!!”  and it ended with this “Michael (resident pseudo jock of the group) says to me, “sweetie, awe you’re new just sit back and listen to the EXPERTS!!” To which I say, “what makes you Mil an expert? training, competitions, schooling?” to which Michael chimes in under my comment and says, “can you believe this shit?”

Um what the heck? I’m suddenly in this “what I think to be a supportive WLS fitness group” I can’t ask why someone thinks they are an expert? The answer I got to the expert question was this…..”results” So results supposedly make this Michael, Jay and Benj and expert? Well if that’s the case, I don’t think that anyone who lifts and is an “expert” should have over 30% Body Fat, nope sorry, that’s not an expert in my opinion, especially if said person has NO certification, or training. No in my mind and expert is someone who has STUDIED, has some success under their belts, client transformation, personal success on the fitness stage etc. Not some former obese person who has had weight loss surgery who is now lifting weights…..albeit WRONG and then suddenly calls himself an expert because you can sort of see a bicep, NOPE. BUT to make sure I wasn’t wrong in what I was telling this group, I reached out to a former personal trainer friend of mine on FB and asked his opinion, I explained what I saw on the video and said should seated row guy INCREASE or DECREASE his weight. Because keep in mind, the flak I was getting from the group was that this guy needed to DECREASE his weight, my opinion was he needed to INCRESE. My friend’s input? INCREASE, which is what I was saying and caught all kinds of grief for!!

Needless to say this shook me up pretty good and had me questioning A LOT of stuff yesterday.

Then the nail in the coffin came with another new WLS “friend” on FB, I reached out to this girl because we are using the same Dayton surgeon, I thought it would be fun to have someone on my friend list who has experience with my program, not a bad idea right?   WRONG!!!  After yesterday’s interaction and other interactions, I want NOTHING to do with her……smh

Some people are just nasty, regardless of if they use the same program as me or not……just NASTY

So I posted a status about my frustration pertaining to the above situation I just described. The status read:  “Seriously ran into a bunch of WLS ppl who lift and since I don’t agree with something (different lifting philosophies) and bc I was a newbie, I got bullied out of TWO groups- both run by the same ppl, seriously my conclusion is and continues to be that SOME (not all) Bariatric ppl can be some of the most hateful, judgmental ppl I’ve come across!! Smh I’ll be over here just doing me, thx!!”

Which not a big deal, right?  I was just frustrated and needed to vent for a second. Well then this girl who is also a soon-to-be patient of my surgeon’s chimes in with her nasty two cents. She starts off by saying, how I ask a lot of questions in FB groups and since I put myself out there, I’m going to get a lot of input. I was like, “what the heck is she talking about? Maybe she didn’t read my status closely because this status had NOTHING to do with asking questions, rather it had to do with me making input and getting my head torn off…..So I say something like, “please read the status again” To which she says, “Yes, I read it twice before commenting. But thanks for acting as if I didn’t read it to begin with”

What the heck? Was that comment REALLY necessary? No not at all, this coming from a girl who’s a nurse and at one point privately messaged me on FB to have me show her my incisions, seriously, no lie…..just a VERY inappropriate RUDE, nasty girl. It stung for a second, but then I put my big girl panties on and decided….ENOUGH!!

I’m just 4 weeks out from my revision surgery, I do NOT have to associate myself with these types of people and I WON’T be from now on, at the first sign of crap it’s going to be “bye Felicia” because I just don’t have time for it anymore. Maybe in 2014, after my botched sleeve when my weight loss came to halt I reached out on FB to figure things out, but it’s 2016 now. I have had an incredible revision surgery. I’m now a RNY, which means the people on the show “My 600lb life” have had this SAME surgery and look at how amazing they are doing?!!! I have that SAME tool!!! I’m going to lose my excess weight because I have a surgeon who says so and I trust him. He’s beyond amazing, his staff and program are beyond amazing. So guess what? I no longer have a need to be involved with groups (yes I removed myself from the group this girl and I share in common). Because I have a program I can ask my questions to!

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to the WLS folks on my FB page currently and who read this blog. You’ve been inspirational and supportive to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!IMG_5722

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