It’s been an interesting week so far. Yes it’s Friday, but wow this week has been packed with a ton of emotions!
I hit my first stall and yes I get that a stall is when you don’t lose a pound for potentially months on end, but my stalls look a little differently than that. I will play with the same few ounces up and down for several days in a row. Now I’m not complaining because I have lost inches, the biggest movement in that department was in my waist, I lost an inch!! That is exciting. I’m sitting at between 228.8 and 229.4 and I honestly just can’t wait to be back around 215, this will put me at 100lbs lost from my highest weight and I will do a happy dance on that day. Yes I hit it last year, but I’ve gained since then and I will just be excited to hit that and would’ve been fine stalling out around there, but alas my body has said, “whoa we just lost 20 lbs in less than 2 weeks, we need a breather” So I’m not panicking and in fact put my scale under the sink….out of sight out of mind in my opinion.
But that wasn’t the only thing this last week has brought into my life. I went through a 24-hour period where Jeff and were fighting, I mean come on, he’s been out of work since October and is really frustrated. Who can blame him? The poor guy worked his butt off in school for 5 years making a high GPA, while being married and a dad, only to be employed upon graduation for 5 months to be laid off? It’s frustrating for him and I was NOT the supportive wife this week. My planner brain got the best of me and I was pushing him to make decisions that he just couldn’t make, so we ended up fighting. When it’s times like these, I start to question God and start to wonder if He sees us, so stupid. I realized during this week that I tend to view God based on my own human experiences with people and that’s NOT right. I had someone challenge me this week during this time, “Angie I’m worried about you, I don’t even know if you still believe that God is sovereign over everything or if you know that God sent his Son Jesus to die for you!” and that sentence may not seem profound, but God used it in my life to wake me up!!
Of course, I believe that God is sovereign over everything and just because I can’t see the way out, doesn’t mean He hasn’t made a way out!! And of course, I believe that God sent His son, Jesus to die for me so that I could live with God for eternity….of course, of course, of course….GUT I wasn’t living it this week. I was caught up in the “whoa is Jeff and Angie, poor me blah blah blah place” and let me tell you this place sucks the life out of you. It’s so interesting how living in this poor me place actually seems to zap more of my energy than believing God is for my good!! So after this conversation, God started to prick my heart, but it wasn’t until my friend DeLisa posted the video that I’ve posted here today on my Facebook page that the floodgates opened. God reminded me of who I am when I surrender my life fully to Him, when I let Him actually take the reigns and lead me. The words of this video hit my heart in such a way that I am DONE questioning God, I mean who am I anyway that I dare question the God/Creator of the Universe? So I don’t know where I was driving home from, but I was talking to God, confessing my sin of trying to always take the wheels in our life. Telling Him, I was sorry for pushing Jeff in a direction that wasn’t necessarily the right on…..just sorry
Then 2 days later, Jeff gets a call from a company in Florida about a job. I just had to laugh because we thought this opportunity was dead in the water, but no, there’s hope and you know what, it’s becaue God is in control, NOT Angie. So even though we don’t know the outcome of this possibility we will at some point today and even though nothing is “for sure”, I sometimes just need a gentle slap to remember that God is for my good and He’ll take care of us in this crazy, unpredictable time