Endure

It’s been an interesting 72 hours in my life. I was reminded why it’s necessary for me to erect boundaries in my life, but more than that I had a very scary moment in those 72 hours. I had a moment where when I was walking around the island in the kitchen, I had to stop for a second because I had this strong déjà vu symptom, something that 15 years ago was a seizure aura and then I experienced facial numbness in my left cheek. The last time I had this type of numbness in my face was in 2010, 10 months after my massive stroke, I was sitting in my senior seminar class in Graduate School and the numbness was intense and moved up my cheek, it was scary. Anyway, by the time I went to my internship about 2 hours later, my social worker demanded I go to the ER. I did. I found out I had a small bleed in the thalamus of the brain. This episode freaked me out because it immediately transported me back to that moment, but more than that it scared me that everything I’ve been working so hard for, primarily my health could be taken away in the breath of a second. So I stopped and prayed and prayed some more

 

You see on my drive over to the gym, I’ve been listening to Francis Chan, phenomenal pastor/speaker out of California. I figured since we haven’t found a decent church here in Ohio, I need to get the Word in my somehow. So I’ve been listening to some of his sermons. Let me just say that if you haven’t listened to him, please do. His podcasts on Itunes are called Crazy Love and they are soooo good.

Anyway, the message I’m currently listening to is called  Taking Back What the Enemy Stole From Us

Now you would probably expect to hear me say, that my health is something I believe is something the enemy has tried to steal from me and while that seems like that could be true with all that I’ve been through, I would say this. We are not guaranteed a life without suffering, in fact, Jesus said the exact opposite!

John 16:33 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

 

So whatever your trouble may be, take hear, Jesus has overcome it and the world so that you may have peace…..

 

I know peace is something I’m lacking, BIG TIME as I look back over the last 6 months of our life, unmet hopes and dreams squashed by a shifting economy with a husband who is still unemployed! Weight gain that I didn’t think or care at the time if it happened to me that I’m now reaping the benefits of disordered out of control eating habits. (as a side note, I’m back on my original plan and down 3.6 lbs in 3 days!!), finding myself in a state and area of the country that only a year ago never dreamed I’d be living in. So much uncertainity, so much trouble is looming in my life at the moment, but I will be honest. I find great comfort in knowing that Jesus says, even in the midst of these changing uncertain things, I can still have peace……

Peace.

 

I want that peace.

I crave that peace

I need that peace.

So this Angie is here to say…..

Yes life is hairy at the moment.

It feels scary and uncertain.

But I will be over here clinging to my Jesus fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfector of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrew 12:2

Surely if Jesus could endure the cross, He’ll give me His power and strength to endure whatever He allows to be laid before me

Uncertain life situations

Weight Gain

Health Crisis

Unemployment.

You name it. So you will no longer hear me saying things like, I’ve got his! I want to be a lover of God in all areas of my life. No instead you will hear me say, “God’s got this through me!!”

 

http://crazylove.org/sermon/42

 

One thought on “Endure

  1. I love that God works in the midst of our suffering! Yea God! I love that even though you’ve been through so very much you still think God is good! Most of all…I love that you’re my daughter and that you are passionately in love with Jesus. And p.s. you are an amazing writer! I am so proud of you!

    Like

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