I’m an idiot
Yep, certifiable actually.
This morning I was looking back over a weight loss “note” I’ve kept in my phone since the beginning of this journey and I truly was stunned and a bit disgusted with myself. I was on a great weight losing course. Sure I was bored with what I was eating, BUT I was losing, in fact, I had reached my lowest weight to date on 3/5/15 of 206.6….wait WHAT?!?! Yes you read that correctly 206 so for a girl who started at 315 this was quite an accomplishment, BUT during this timeframe I was so hyper focused on losing enough to get under 200 pounds, I wasn’t grateful or happy to be at 206, all I could see at that time was a girl sitting above 200 pounds. The irony now is that I’ve have since been to have a consultation with a plastic surgeon is that at 206 with the excess skin I have at that weight I was actually under 200 pounds. I kind of just chuckle at the irony now.
I guess I’ve come full circle in regard to my weight loss.
I’m no longer the girl in Rolla who’s so focused on getting under 200 pounds that I can’t see beyond that.
In fact, I’ll be quite happy sitting at 210, shoot 206 again for that matter. Yep, at this point, I don’t have a real number in mind per say. I definitely no longer EVER want to be heavier than 215, 215 is exactly 100 pounds lost from my highest weight of 315. When my 2 year surgeriversary came and went this year and I was heavier than 215, I made up my mind that NEVER again will I see that February 3 date come and go and be above 215….nope not going to happen as long as I’m physically and mentally able to make my own decisions it won’t happen again!!
Another revelation that I was struck by here recently is how thankful I am to a certain lady who has helped me on this weight loss path. She doesn’t know me in real life, yet she saw one of my Facebook posts back in September 2014 about desperately wanting to get under 100 pounds lost before my 1 year surgery date. She privately messaged me, at that time and helped me learn how to eat for my goals and the amazing thing was, did not charge me a dime!! This concept didn’t really hit me until I started putting things together here recently.
See in the summer of 2014, I learned how to lift weights at a bodybuilding gym in Houston TX and paid the owner a lot of money to teach me how to do it properly. At that time, there was a guy at the gym who had a degree in nutrition (at least I think he does) but he did nutrition consulting, anyway, I had asked him a question about how I should be eating and his response to me was, “my advice isn’t free!” I remember being really put off by this mentality, because prior to this incident, I came from the Midwest where people are just happy to see others succeed and help each other out. I had never come across this idea that my time is valuable etc. I didn’t get it and was honestly a little shocked, that is……….. until recently.
So fast forward about 8 months from this experience at the Houston gym and I’ve found myself, ironically once again in a revelation/lesson learned position in life.
You see, I’ve had about 5 different friends, some reaching out to me and others who I’ve reached out to, offering to help put them on a nutrition plan to lose weight. I figured, hey I got this advice and it’s greatly impacted my life. I want to share it with the world!!
That is until recently
like this past Sunday, recently
I sat down and spent an hour of my time devising a meal plan for someone only to be told, “yeah got it, but it’s not going to work for me right now”
Slap to the face
But I get it
Not everyone really wants the help, but I was left baffled and questioning everything and then it dawned on me…………duh Angie
The people who say things like, “my advice isn’t free” or they have paying clients…..these people realize their time is valuable AND they realize that probably 80% of their clients aren’t going to follow through without a little discomfort to their pocketbook……Now I get it.
So this is me saying a few things.
I will no longer be helping anyone with their nutrition for a few reasons.
- I’m tired of getting burned
- I’m not certified to do so, I only have my personal experience and the experience I’ve paid for and these things are no longer free.
- It’s time for me to focus on Angie and get myself back to my weight loss goals where I’m happy and healthy and that’s going to be to lose at least another 25-35 pounds. In order for me to do this, I’m only willing to put people on my team who are willing to work harder than me and I’m finding that number is very few. In fact, I’ve never really met anyone who qualifies for this statement, other than who I see on Facebook and some days this can get discouraging, but I’m no longer willing to wallow in mediocre. I’ve done that and I’m done with that.
The lady who helped me so greatly, she’s someone I admire and look up to and she made a comment the other day that seems really fitting and kinda stuck in my brain. She said, “My comeback will be epic!” She was referring to her current cross that she’s bearing, but it spoke volumes to my soul as well.
I’m here to say….no more playing
NO more getting lost in thinking I’m helping or inspiring others
At the end of the day, I want to be the best version of Angie on this planet!
So just sit back and watch
My comeback will be Epic!!