Dagger Through the Heart

It’s always a struggle, for me to find good doctors when we move. I hate the process because my health history is SO extensive, but nothing really prepared me for yesterday’s fiasco.

You would have thought I would have been more prepared for the complete disaster that was my first PCP appointment with Dr Dayal, which he is close to where I live so I was hoping he would be good, but he was an epic fail!! I chose him based on the recommendations from hospital staff at Holzer-the health system he’s associated with. I was reluctant because I don’t prefer male PCP, but having had an excellent one in Texas I thought I’d give him a shot?

First off, I put the appointment time into my phone wrong, an hour late, thankfully he still saw me because I needed BP meds. Now granted, like I wrote yesterday I weigh way more than I would actually like to at the present moment and there’s nothing I can do TODAY about that except eat on point and exercise, of which I’m now doing. Anyway, he walks into the office and was overly warm, but wasn’t outright rude either. There’s definitely a language gap, which I’ve come to deal with, having just lived in Texas. We bumble through my extensive health history. He says he can prescribe my BP meds and another med I need for neuropathy….ok I think, this could work, but then this condescending jerk who has taken ZERO time to actually get to know me proceeds to ask me if I’d like for him to prescribe me a diet pill? Um NO you %&$^() I don’t want a diet pill I want to say, I’d like to say, “Do you think I would have had bariatric surgery HAD a diet pill worked before? Idiot?!!!!!  THEN he moves on and says, “well with your brain history we need to get an MRI to get a baseline………..again I’m thinking, “listen you $^*#(&$^, you are a freaking PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR…..NOT and I repeat NOT a neurosurgeon and I’ve already spoken to my neurosurgeon at the renowned University of Michigan a couple of months ago when this came up in Texas and he doesn’t think I need an MRI unless I’m having symptoms which I AM NOT!!! SO STEP OFF!!!! Of course, I was very polite in how I conveyed this to him, but I wanted to cuss him out and run screaming for the hills, I didn’t.

Instead, I left and quickly decided I would find another PCP, thankfully I have another appointment this afternoon with a nurse practioner, here’s to hoping this is a good one?   Ugh

In the meantime, if you now me though reading my blog you know that I struggle greatly with letting things go, especially when I feel like I’m a disappointment in some way to someone, no matter how obscure they may be.

I’m struggling today with the whole diet pill comment……………like really struggling

Not in a maybe-you-should-just-take-it kind of way, but in a “who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are kind of way? I mean he didn’t even give me the time of day, has no idea what I’m doing to try to lose weight, nor did he seem to care, instead his quick simple solution was “here’s a pill that will fix it all” but isn’t that just how doctors are? UGH I’m just so frustrated today and feeling like a failure. I guess in a way you could say that this worthless excuse of a doctor drove a dagger deep into my heart yesterday and it’s still smarting today.

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