Epic Fail




Not really…..well maybe a little, even as I type this, I’m left a little baffled by the scale this morning and yet not really. I know this doesn’t make any sense, but just go with me for a second as I get into my month long EPIC diet failure. It’s nothing short of comical really. Comical, sad, enlightening, but most definitely a massive learning curve that I will walk away from not only shaking my head but going, “yep that most certainly doesn’t work for me!!”


I am convinced more than EVER, nutrition is relative, within reason.

There are some basics that apply to everyone….like if you eat junk food, you WILL gain weight….period. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean that if you and I eat the same junk food on the same day, weighing exactly the same weight and being the same height that we will weigh exactly the same the next day…nope, that’s not how it works at all. Because our bodies process said foods completely differently.

However, ALL food, good or bad effects our bodies in some way. If there is one thing I’ve learned over this last year and a half it is this resounding fact!!! I can’t speak for everyone, I can only speak for myself and tell you what I’ve learned and here’s what it is……

I love carbs.

No not the healthy ones, like oatmeal, rice, sweet potatoes (I’m talking naked sweet potatoes no butter/sugar etc.). I like the BAD carbs, chips, popcorn, cereal, brownies, cookies…ya know, those carbs. I like them a lot, but my body doesn’t like them at all, in fact, how my body processes them is in the form of extra fat around my abdomen. I’m that girl.

Anyway, back in September 2014, I was struggling along in my bariatric nutrition, trying really hard to figure out a way to eat correctly, I was at a stall and sitting at about 244. I was lifting weights, doing cardio and just couldn’t move that scale. A Facebook friend helped tremendously, helped me figure out what and when to eat. I had some basic knowledge, really just enough to be dangerous to myself, but she really unlocked a major key and so I started her eating approach and my body began to respond. Unfortunately, during this time, I was so hyper focused on calories and losing weight that I wasn’t really focusing on some of the right things, like enjoying the process, enjoying the amount of weight milestones I was at, like 90lbs etc., how my clothes were fitting etc. I was so hyper focused on the number on the scale, that I couldn’t see anything beyond that. All I could see was this new way of eating was a form of punishment, I would have to punish myself, again if I ever wanted to get to my goal weight. Looking back now, I realize how wrong this thinking was, but it’s just where I was at. So when I lost on her plan down to 210ish, but hit a stall, I started trying this whacky idea called Intermittent Fasting, primarily because I missed enjoying food in any capacity and with IF you have a seriously whacked out day of eating pure crap. Yes I lost down to 207, but I’ll be honest, I don’t think IF did that, I think my dedication and commitment to eating 5 healthy meals a day, lifting weights and doing an appropriate amount of cardio did that…. got me to 207.  This IF came at the end of our time in Rolla and in the back of my mind I knew that once we got to Houston I would start working with  nutritionist and maybe that’s why I was willing to try this crazy IF eating thing, I don’t know, again it was where I was at, because remember, this whole time, my focus was the number on the scale and losing over 100lbs, but also deluding myself into thinking that I could lose over 100lbs and somehow still eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Yes there was a part of me in rebellion to the fact that I no longer had my 18 year old metabolism when I was able to do that. Anyway, I digress.

Then we got to Houston, I started working with that nutritionist and life was good  for a while, but then it wasn’t,  everything got super insane with my beloved grandma dying, my sister being a crazy drama queen, my husband losing his job, having to stop working with my nutritionist and I lost my way. I gained weight, even got back up to 241 at one point, freaked out and stopped lifting weights, on the advice of my nutritionist, which confirmed bariatric surgeon’s advice so I went with it.

So on October 25, 2015, I somehow stumbled across a bariatric group on Facebook called Bariatric Eating, don’t ask me how, I have no clue. They have a whole section dedicated to weight loss surgery patients who have had surgery but have faced a regain of some sort and they provide an eating plan to help those people get that extra weight off. I thought, “YES!!!” “This was meant for me to find, I will try this because clearly that’s me, a bariatric patient with regain, shoot I’m a bariatric patient who’s never gotten to my goal, so it can’t hurt and all of these other people are successful, so why wouldn’t I be???”

Here’s the plan (now don’t laugh)

You drink their shakes for 4 meals and then your 5th meal you eat a lean protein/low carb vegetable dinner…..see a pattern here?  5 meals? High protein/low carb veggie??  Hmmm

So I weighed in on my birthday, 11/14/15 at 229.6 and started this insane plan and weighed in this morning after a gigantic BM (sorry if that’s TMI, but in the bariatric world this is a BIG deal) and guess what I weighed today?? 229.4

What the bloody heck???  You are telling me, in ONE MONTH of eating 800-1000 calories, completely eliminating lifting weights from my workouts and doing heavy cardio that I’ve lost .2 pounds?  POINT TWO POUNDS, that’s basically water shifting differently or stepping on the scale a different way, can we say EPIC FAIL, once again?!?!?!?!


So here’s what I’ve learned in Houston:

I’m DONE with all the crap diet plans, goodness, DONE

My body responds to 5 healthy high protein/low carb meals a day.

My body responds to weight lifting, which I enjoy and miss by the way, and moderate cardio

My body hangs onto fat in starvation mode when I eat under 1,000 calories a day.

I no longer think that my true “goal weight” has to be under 200 pounds, in fact, I was looking at pictures yesterday and I really enjoyed myself when I weighed between 207-215. I could happily lose about 18lbs from today and maintain that weight and be very happy and satisfied with myself. I actually didn’t realize this until yesterday when a friend from high school contacted me on Facebook. She expressed her concern about the amount of cardio I was doing and actually thought I looked lean with the exception of having some excess skin, which let’s be honest for those of us who have lost any amount of weight do have. She thought perhaps I would be surprised with what a plastic surgeon had to say as far as a consult of skin removal. The funny part of this is that I have been wanting to see a plastic surgeon but thought I would wait until I go to the weight of 180. I hadn’t even considered that perhaps I have enough skin that I’m carrying around that I may be closer to the low 200s. It was the extra push I needed to make an appointment before I leave Houston. Not to have the actual surgery done, but to have an appointment with a professional who can say, “You need to lose another 30, or you need to lose 50, or you need to lose none” etc. So I see that person on Thursday, I know pushing it. In the meantime, I’m sitting in Starbucks researching HOW I can start eating 5 high protein/moderate carb meals next week in the middle of packing, moving etc. My goal for the next 2 weeks is to not miss a beat. I feel like I have a renewed dedication. Something that has been misplaced for a long long time, months really. I guess I needed to go through this last epic failure to really appreciate what I had and to give me a renewed focused as we make this new transition in life. I feel like I can go into this move to Ohio renewed a refreshed, armed and ready to go with a plan to succeed.


New goals:

NOT gain this month or next month

Lose atleast 5 lbs a month

Lose 18lbs, which as of today would put me at 211.

Resume weight training, starting tomorrow, with scaling cardio back to 60 minutes.

Attempt Crossfit in Ohio, once we are settle (this is going to take some serious nerve, send a positive thought my way)

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