Self-Made Woman

Something I hear ALL the time here in Katy TX from working moms is how they are a “self-made woman” Especially from fit chicks I follow on Facebook. They workout, work out of the home, are married, have kids, juggle it all and they have arrived by themselves. To which I say “great, good for you!” but how about  cheering on the moms who run their households, who are present when their kids get off the bus or home when they walk in the door or better yet pick their kids up from school? Who is cheering on those moms? I guess I just had a completely different idea of what Texas was all about and maybe this mentality is just unique to Katy TX, after all it seems to be the “energy capital of the world” here. Now hear me I’m NOT saying there is anything wrong with doing it all by our society’s standards, what I’m saying is there is no longer respect or reverence for the stay at home mom and I’m wondering why that is? I’ve spent a lot of years thinking I would be a “career woman” even tossing around the idea of going to law school. I dated guys who were all about me being and doing, that is until I met and married Jeff. Jeff’s idea of true success is for me to actually be home raising our children. I don’t know if he’s a unique man in this world, I do know that I’ve never met any other man like him. I remember one of our first arguments was right after I found out I was pregnant and even among the massive health crisis I was dealing with I was still focused on finishing my college degree (which I did btw) and working. Jeff’s argument was, “but I want you home with our baby, why don’t you want that?” Honestly, I don’t know, it was this unrealistic drive of expectations I thought others were putting on me, when in fact it was just me being my own worst enemy. Fast forward 15 years, a mountain of health issues, a disability and my inability to work now and I find myself in the role that I never imagined I would actually ever be in full time. A role that I had secretly hoped I would find myself in one day and now do and I can say I am so honored. Honored to be home. To run my household. To make sure my family’s needs are met and I am thrilled. I feel blessed. One of my counseling homework assignments was to research the job responsibilities of an executive assistant and tweak it to write myself a job description and then assign myself an annual salary. This was an interesting and fun assignment. It helped me in a lot of ways see that my position, which unpaid, is worth something real. After typing out over two pages of job responsibilities, I assigned my salary at 95,000 and I feel very satisfied with that number. Granted I won’t ever see that much in dollar signs, but my husband does reward me with money on a Starbucks card and to me this is priceless.

So I guess in the end. I AM a self made woman. I work just as hard as any woman who works outside of the home does. I may not be in charge of a unit in some corporate office somewhere, but what I am in charge of is worth far more than any monetary reward I could receive. So the next time you spout off about how you’ve pulled yourself up by your boot straps and pat yourself on the back, or assume I have a cushy life because my alarm doesn’t go off at 6am and I don’t have to drive in rush hour traffic to get to work. Remember my alarm goes off at 4:15 and I’m in the gym by 5:15 busting out a workout, which is the only time I have to do it because for the next 8 hours I’m running around crazy, running kids to and from school, calling principals or teachers to make sure my children learning what they need to succeed in life. I’m throwing in loads of laundry in between meal planning, grocery shopping, cleaning and making dinner. I’m helping with homework and loving on my kids. So in the end. I am a self-made woman!!

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