Ramblings From My Brain

I wish I had a big grandiose post to share today but I really don’t. I feeling kind able today, nothing in particular really, other than my life is completely out of control and I absolutely loathe this space in my brain when my life is out of control. I hate it so much, I can’t even tell you how much. Honestly, it makes me feel depressed and sad. When I’m depressed and sad I usually turn to some form of junk food, but this time I’m really trying to overcome those bad habits. I’ll be honest it’s really really hard.  Especially in light of this new diet plan I’m trying to do currently.

What’s got me so tied up?

We have NO plan at this point….none

Yes my husband just had oral surgery and yes I should be more laid back, but WOW that is NOT my personality type, at all!! I want to KNOW what’s coming, why is that too much to ask? I mean really? My current frustration and what I’m trying to wrap my brain around is that idea of moving back to the COLD, oh lord give me strength. I thought we had left our living in cold cold states behind us, but it’s very possible we may move to Ohio and in with my in-laws. Now most people would think, “oh my goodness, I could never live with my in-laws” but I’ll be honest, my in-laws are beyond incredible. My mother-in-law was the one who would drive me to ALL my doctor appointments when I was first diagnosed with a brain tumor and had a high risk pregnancy. I was a mess and she was right there willing to run me all over creation. And this wouldn’t be the first time we’ve lived with them. We moved into their basement in 2003, while Jeff was building our house in Michigan. I loved living with them!! I’ve never been surrounded by people who extend so much grace and unconditional love, very gracious and wonderful people….so all of that to say living with them again wouldn’t be a bad thing at all. In fact, there is an incredible Christian school that my kids could attend there and we could actually afford it. So plus plus, the ONLY downsides I see at this point are:

  1. The FREEZING cold weather that will be coming, which means snow and snow in my opinion at any point is NEVER a good thing….sure my kids would be happy, but OMG I would NOT be!! I hate snow so much
  2. Jeff would be unemployed with NO real job prospects in Ohio
  3. There is NO Starbucks within 45 mins of my in-laws
  4. No real gym to work out in long term

The other options are not as great

Jeff would LOVE to move back to Florida. Now keep in mind, there are NO oil and gas jobs anywhere at this time in the U.S, but states that typically have them (when there are jobs to be had are) North Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, Texas, Louisiana, Not Florida. So Jeff’s thought about moving to Florida is to go back into construction management and ride out this lull in the oil and gas market. Not a bad idea, but it worries me that we’ll get stuck, plus what company is going to want a 40 year old, recent college graduate with no real world experience other than internships and 4 months on the job? I don’t know, this is where my brain stalls out at.

We don’t really want to stay in Texas. Truth be told. I HATE Katy, so does Jeff. Plus when you aren’t making a petroleum engineer’s salary it’s expensive to live here, or live in a “safe place here.

I would like to move to Ohio and have Jeff get a Master’s degree in Finance or business admin, but that’s just me. I feel like this would make him more marketable. I don’t know tho….the cold, ugh

I have NO clue where we’ll be by Christmas and yesterday was a day where I was trying to make it all work. Force my will on my husband and it didn’t go over well. Needless to say, I once again quickly saw the error of my way. So it was just a rough day.

Like I said earlier, I absolutely despise this part of life, you know the part where nothing makes sense and any illusion of control and plans you thought you had, you quickly realize is was all just a farce.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s