Not much to really blog about today, other than I thought I would give an update from my nutritionist appointment from Friday and what I’ve been doing in counseling……ok here goes
I knew that I had gained with all the stress and sadness from August into September. It was definitely a rough couple of months. I found myself just “not caring” what I ate, when I ate etc. I didn’t really exercise either, so couple all of that with eating pure crap, I gained over 31lbs!!!! I am super disgusted with myself and I realize that the whole “putting my head in the sand” approach to my life, well just really isn’t an approach at all. Sure it’s easier, but in the long run it has devastating consequences. For me, it’s 31ish pounds. So I wasn’t surprised at the gain, but my nutritionist was a little blown away by it. So we talked. I told her I want to get back to ATLEAST my lowest weight of 207, which I hit in Rolla, but I was a cardio queen there. I was doing cardio twice a day a couple of times a week and lifting weights with less weight higher rep frequency, basically NOT building muscle. I told her that IF I never get under 200 lbs, I would like to atleast get back to and maintain 207. I felt like she heard me. So she wants me to continue to eat on her plan and NOT lift weights and only do cardio until I see her again on Oct. 30. This will be the true test/check-in time. She told me about a study how counting calories actually doesn’t work as well as we think. She said that at some point my body will lose visceral fat (the fat around your organs) and when that happens, the scale will drop. I’m waiting for that day, ugh.
It also struck me that I was doing something right in Rolla. I mean I did hit my lowest weight there. Sure I was on a BORING as all get out meal plan, but something worked. I had this false sense of thinking Texas was going to be this phenomal move in our life, in many different aspects and sadly many of those things haven’t come to fruition. I think reality has finally sunk in…..I think
Fact: I can NOT eat a bunch of bad carbs and think that I will continue to lose weight. To think otherwise, or give into that temptation is just a false sense of reality and rebellion, which is ultimately SIN.
So yes I’ve been struggling, but as of today I am back on track with eating and have a new focus in the gym of cardio only……we’ll see where I land by Oct. 30
As for counseling, that has been kicked up a notch. My counselor wants me to look in the mirror, FIVE days a week and say FIVE positive things about myself…..OMG, does it sound hard? Um yeah, I haven’t started yet, and I see her on Wednesday, gulp. I just don’t even know what to say?