OK I am officially declaring an END to this season of weight gain. Granted it’s been a very difficult 6 months, with 2 moves, one to Texas and another move while in Texas, some seriously stressful things coming down the pike at Jeff’s job, my grandma’s death and a major rife with my sister, but seriously the 31lbs I’ve gained in SIX months is NOT ok!!!! So starting today I am back to counting calories, getting the crap out of my diet and weighing weekly to track my progress. Jeff and I had a long talk last night at dinner and he agrees that I did much better with my health, weight loss etc when I was more on top of things. In my mind this just confirmed what I already knew.
Then yesterday in my counseling session I feel like I had a major breakthrough. You see when I lived in Rolla, MO. My life was slow paced, we lived in a small town where it literally took 2 mins to get anyway so you didn’t really have to plan ahead to leave and time traffic just right to make it to places on time. On top of this my kids were homeschooled, so I didn’t really have to leave my house other than to go to the gym in the mornings. I feel like this season in Rolla was a pressure cooker and I had tons of TIME to sit and think about my weight loss progress and dwell on all the things I was doing wrong……but then we moved to Texas and NOTHING has been what I expected!!!! NOTHING
Now I live in my van running kids all over the place. I have to literally schedule in time to just sit and relax or else I don’t because I’m CONSTANTLY doing something. Here you may have to do to a location that’s 5 miles away but it will take 30 mins to get there, so EVERYTHING has to be planned out. I feel like here I haven’t had TIME to really stop and think about calories, food, weight gain because I have NO time to.
This realization hit me hard yesterday and I think I now see why I was so obsessed when we were in Rolla. Plus along the way, I’ve learned some really valuable life lessons about food choices etc. I am no longer freaked out if my calories go over 1100 like I was in Rolla. I feel like I “get it” in how healthy food impacts our bodies vs. unhealthy foods.
Sure I still struggle with wanting the unhealthy foods, in fact, those little buggers are what have put on these 31lbs. So that’s an issue I will have to work on in counseling. But as I watch my BP go up and up and my meds increase again, I feel like the smoke has cleared, the rebellion has ended and it’s time to get serious and put away this nonsense eating. It’s time to get serous again and get back to atleast my lowest of 207!!