Counseling went well. Of course it’s always hard starting out in counseling, establishing a beginning and figuring out what exactly you want to work on first, but I’m thankful I began that process yesterday. I’m also thankful that I sought out a Christian counselor. It was so encouraging to pray at the end of our session. Also I’m thankful because this counselor has only lived in Texas for 5 years and she’s originally from Oklahoma. This was encouraging to me since we just moved from the Midwest. She could understand a lot of my struggles with adjusting to Texas, so we talked at length about that. It’s funny because if you would have asked me ten years ago if I’m a small town girl, I would have laughed in your face and said, “Heck no, get me out of small town America!!” BUT truth be told now that I live in a massive city, I would take small town America any day of the week. I guess sometimes you have to live where you think you want to live to figure out that you were really happy where you were…..at least that’s what I’m learning anyway.
So I walked about of her office yesterday with a diagnosis of adjustment disorder with anxious tendacies….um yeah that would sum it up!! On top of all that craziness, our primary focus is to deal with my relationship with my sister since I’ll have to be faced with it on Sept 12 at my grandma’s memorial service. After how awful she was to me and my parents I have to be ready with how I’m going to deal with her and how if at all our relationship will look moving forward. I’m done being the push over who just allows her to cut me in and out of her life on an emotional whim, waiting until she decides to grace me with her presence again….D O N E with all that dysfunction, which is made up in my mind. Now I just need to learn how to deal with it on a day to day basis. See the old Angie would just lay down and take it as if I deserved to be treated this way, but the new Angie is fed up with being a doormat and I’m no longer willing to allow people to treat me like I man nothing to them! See I’m done with allowing people into my life who are not genuine in their friendship toward me, loving in their responses. Sure I’m open to criticism, but not from someone who doesn’t know me well. I’m also no longer willing to deal with people who have a victim mentality. You know the ones, it’s everyone else’s fault besides their own….now hear me, do I think that sometimes things beyond our control happen to us? Absolutely YES, do I also think that if you choose to spend your money on fancy cars, getting your nails and hair done and drinking Starbucks daily but then turn around and beg people for money (that you NEVER pay back) is OWED to you….absolutely NO!! It is your choice to spend your money how you want, but it’s nobody else fault when you can’t pay your bills or put food on your table….so I’m over listening to that bologna.
Yep the new and improved Angie is still a work in progress and this new version of myself is going to learn how to deal with people in a healthy, honest way……..the rest is yet to be seen, stay tuned