So apparently I just cause drama, what the heck?!
Yesterday I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Thinking you’re better because you’re more “natural”, ok honey, you enjoy your saggy titties, wrinkles and fake painted nails. Tell your cats I say hi”
And a non-bariatric Facebook friend was completely offended. Which got me to thinking about today’s blog post
I want to talk about WHY I posted this meme yesterday. I posted it because I felt like it is my personal battle cry. Let me explain…..
For years and years, I tried to lose weight, unsuccessfully with every diet out there. I tried them ALL. I worked my butt off in the gym about 3-4 days a week and was just not progressing at all. I would lose 10-20 lbs and then lose steam and gain it back and then some. When I hit my highest weight of 315, I had no motivation and ate whatever I wanted I knew that something drastic needed to change in my life. I just didn’t know what that would be. Until I went home for Christmas and talked to my sister-in-law who had had bariatric surgery. I’ll be honest bariatric surgery really hadn’t registered prior to that moment. I felt like I had been handed a key that would help me unlock the door to get me healthy….I felt like FINALLY, this seemed right to me, so I set out on a journey to look further into this option. Never ONCE did I think I was taking the easy way out. Never once did I think about being questioned for this choice. Never once did I think how drastically it would change my life.
I was singularly focused.
I knew this would be my key.
If you know me or have gathered by now, When I get something in my head I run at it full force,
So I had my pre-op appointment on Nov. 28, 2013 and had surgery on Feb. 3. 2014, about 2 ½ months after my initial consult. Now I could go into detail about looking back wishing I had slowed my process down a bit, found a surgery program I really loved, but that’s not the point of this post
What IS the point of this post?
This little history, is just to give you a glimpse into my thinking at the time.
Now fast forward to the last year of this journey. I’ve gone from being obsessed about the number on the scale, to now seeing my overall goal of surgery as a journey towards HEALTH. Health is the goal, longevity is the goal, enjoying my family is the goal, being present in my daily life is the goal. No longer am I focused on the number, but the results of living.
I was NOT at this place when I was trying every diet known to man or killing myself in the gym to lose a pound or two. I am here now and I believe it’s only because of the choice to have the vertical sleeve.
This has been a difficult journey.
I didn’t realize all the hate I would get from the fitness world, bariatric world and the “natural losers world”.
This all struck me last summer when I met a fitness competitor, who I had told I had surgery to but she forgot and then about 6 months after meeting her, I Facebooked her and we were talking and somehow the conversation came around to a client of hers who had lost 80lbs, “THE NATURAL WAY” “none of these easy ways out like surgery”….she said something to that effect and not only was I ticked but realized she had forgotten I told her about my surgery. I messaged her back and said, “Are you saying my 90lb weight loss doesn’t count because I had surgery?” After a lot of back pedaling, I moved on, but this has been the overarching theme toward me in the fitness world. This look-down-my-nose-at-you-once-I-learn-how-you’ve-lost-your-weight attitude that I am SICK TO DEATH
of!! Then you have my friends in the bariatric world, who find out that I’ve had surgery, lift weights and eat WAY more than they do and from this community I get the “well-it’s-no-wonder-you-haven’t-lost-all-your-weight-yet attitude that I am also SICK TO DEATH of!!!
Lastly you have my natural losers crowd who give me attitude of oh-sure-you’ve-lost90lbs-you-had-surgery-i-could-lose-weight-that-way-to-if-i-had-surgery disgust attitude that I am SICK TO DEATH of!!
So here’s my ultimate takeaway and what I want to say to all communities involved, the fitness, WLS and natural weight loss losers.
To the Fitness world I would say this, “most of you are personal trainers and have obese clients. Why does it matter how your obese client choses to lose weight?, shouldn’t the focus be on helping that client achieve his or her goals, which I’m assuming has to do with health and fitness because why else would he or she employ you? I understand that you may think that people who have bariatric surgery may not have the will power to get their butts in the gym as often as you recommend, but isn’t that just pigeon-holing and generalizing? Does that ultimately make you money at the end of the day? I would think not because as a former fatty, I know if I felt the slightest bit of self-righteous judgement from you, I would NOT employ you to help me…at all”
To the natural losers I would say, “Congratulations on your success, it’s takes hard work and determination to achieve what you’ve achieved, so yes you should pat yourself on the back and stop judging those of us who, in your opinion, took the easy way out. Can I tell you about my “easy way out?” I had complications during my surgery that landed me in the ICU for 9 days, my blood wouldn’t clot during my surgery so I ended up with a massive hematoma (aka: bruise/knot) at my incision site that required a SECOND surgery on the same day I came out of bariatric surgery. My oxygen levels were so low that my surgeon said it was “touch and go”, So could you explain to me again how you think this was the easy way out? I’m done listening to your bull-crap on this subject.
And to the WLS community I would say, “thank you for accepting me into your arms. Thank you for letting me vent when I’ve needed to, but please stop judging my journey. You are probably the least judgmental group I’ve ever been a part of, so please stop judging me when you find out I eat 5 meals a day and they consist of way more food than you can fathom eating. I eat now to fuel my body instead of punishing it. I eat more because I lift weights and do cardio 6 days a week. So please just stop.
So I’m just over here like “hey I’m a misfit, I don’t really fit anywhere” and you know what? I’m completely ok with that………..now or at least for today.
I wasn’t always, but yesterday’s comment by a Facebook friend has helped me feel a little more comfortable in my own skin, she said, “ If people would spend less time judging & more time bettering themselves this world would be a far nicer place.” To which I say, YES….YES….a hundred times YES!!!!
It shouldn’t matter HOW you lose weight, but priority should be health, fitness and a judgement-FREE life!!!