Off my chest

I’ve always  been the type of person that if you wrong me, I retaliate in some way.  You hurt me, forget it. I am off to the races. In the past this could have all gone down and I would STILL take you back into my life when you showed the least bit of interest. When I stop to think about it, it seems desperate and kinda pathetic. But it is what it is. It’s how I respond.

So yesterday I wrote about my crazy family and what’s currently going on with them. I was trying to be vague in my description in order to protect. But today I’m done with all of that. I don’t think it’s retaliation as much as it is freedom for me from my previous way of dealing with things. So yes my sister is the one who has completely cut me out of her life….AGAIN……for no real reason other than she’s spiraling…..AGAIN. How do I know this? Besides the fact that this is a every 3-6 month ordeal?

She sent my mom and I a text message that basically said I’m unplugging from all of your lives so that I can focus on mine. I have a couple of things to say about this and I know she never reads my blog so I guess I’m just saying them to get them off my chest primarily.

  1. That’s such bullcrap I cry foul!!! Real people who really love JESUS and love people DO NOT disconnect their emotions from other people. Instead they dive in and create BOUNDARIES to protect themselves. But you are doing the opposite, so thank you….thank you for showing me how you really feel about me and how you deal with relationships, I’ve filed this away and made a mental note of it AGAIN….this time though I’ve got it though, no worries.

 

  1. It’s COMPLETELY juvenile to consistently complain about how I have had such an easy life and how your life is so hard because you’ve been divorced and no one flew to Florida to help you. When you face a massive health crisis in the nose you let me know. WE ALL HAVE STRUGGLES……not just you. Wrap your brain around that one. The beauty comes from allowing God to handle it, Oh and by the way, it was HIS divine wisdom and plan for my life, not yours that saved my life….wrap your brain around that one
  1. It’s completely ridiculous that you’ve blocked me on Facebook, it’s laughable really!! Sure in the past I would have cared so deeply that I would have retaliated and blocked you back, but guess what NOT THIS TIME LADY. After I post this blog, I’m not going to think about the situation or you again Other than when God brings you to mind I’ll pray but beyond that I will not shed ONE tear, or feel like I’ve done something wrong to deserve this, nope, not this time. I know that I can stand before an audience of One and know that my interaction with you has been heartfelt. So this is YOUR issue, not mine.

But here’s what I can tell you.

I will NO LONGER play these perverse and childish games.

I will NO LONGER fear I’ve done something wrong or I can’t say something direct of truthful for fear it’ll hurt your feelings and you’ll do exactly what you are doing now….cut me out of your life because truth be told, that’s exactly what you want me to be, the girl you can call, dump all of your life problems on, complain about how bad your life is and just listen.

From this day forward I WILL NOT!!!!!!

Sure we were dealt a crappy lot in life, our childhood sucked, sure, but there were also beautiful times. Times that you somehow seem to forgotten because you are so focused on the hurt and the “my childhood sucked, my marriage sucked, my ex-husband sucked”

I am NO LONGER afraid. I have thoughts and feelings too and I AM DONE allowing you to trample all over them. This is me saying, don’t bother calling me. Don’t bother thinking in August when you want to interact with me again that I’ll be the same Angie that you blew off in July, because that sister…the one you are used to pushing around? Is no longer available to you.

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