The Journey

It struck me yesterday in the gym, something that I didn’t think was possible…..but I’ll get to that in a minute.

First let me give you a little back story

So when we lived in Rolla, Missouri, I was killing myself to get to 215, this was the weight that would put me at 100lbs lost from my highest weight of 315. I mean I worked out like a crazy woman and ate SUPER boring monotonous foods and weighed incessantly. I eventually even got under 215 which drove me all the more to get under 200. My wish was that I would be under 200 by the time I moved to Texas and started working with a nutritionist, I figured it would just be easier to reach my goal of 157 at that point…….well then I injured my left knee, I was doing acupuncture on it a couple of times a week, and not letting up on my exercise routine. Oh and I was counting calories galore.  I was burning out, quickly. I knew that the lifestyle I adopted couldn’t be sustained long term and I honestly didn’t know how to stop and still reach my goals.

So It was a HUGE relief when I started working with my nutritionist and she told me to STAY OFF THE SCALE. I’m not going o lie, it’s been difficult and my mind has gone through so many “what ifs”. But when we were in the process of moving and looking at houses and I was under a tremendous boat load of stress, I started ganing weight. I had become slightly lax on my diet and exercise plan, but nothing outrageous and I was gaining…..I was pissed.  So I started following Kim’s plan to a T and in the first 3 weeks not only lost scale weight but also fat pounds as well and yes I just learned they are different loses.

Anyway, I’ve come to the realization that I no longer weigh 215 and for the first time EVER I’m ok with it. Now of course that doesn’t mean I’ll be ok weighing anything over 230, but I’m currently sitting around 222 and yes that’s not 100lbs lost, but it’s still pretty darn amazing from where I started at.

Is it where I had hoped to be this far out from surgery?  NOPE, not at all, but it’s where I’m at and currently sitting here I can honestly say I no longer hate my body.

It was a huge revelation really.

All of this brings me to yesterday’s revelation……
I was at the gym, lifting weights and resting between sets when I placed my hands on my hips and I was struck at how much closer together my hands were to each other. It may sound stupid, but it really struck me and then the thought that went through my head was, “wow Angie could you really appreciate your body having only lost 90ish pounds?”  and the answer for the first time on this journey was “YES”

So I may not be where I want to be weight wise yet or even health wise yet, but I’m appreciating the journey today more than I ever have!!

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