So as I embark on this new revised fitness journey, I’m embracing freedom.
It struck me today as I was doing cardio that I am no longer obsessed or focused on how many calories I’m burning. This is a HUGE HUGE HUGE victory, you see prior to moving to TX and working with this nutritionist I was a calorie counting fanatic. To the point that it would drive me bonkers if I hadn’t lost even an ounce by the morning. I was weighing myself daily and freaking out based on what the scale said in the morning. I was working super hard in the gym and counting calories and couldn’t figure out why the scale wan’t moving. It was so frustrating, to the point that I thought the seriously strict diet I had been on (which helped me get to 100lbs lost by my 1 year post op date) needed to be more strict.
I was obsessing over the time of day I was eating an apple or peanut butter….yes I was that crazy!! If the scale wasn’t moving, I added a second session of cardio, lifting weights longer (in the morning) and pushed my morning cardio a little harder. Since I was tracking calories so closely, just to give you an idea, on days where I would do cardio twice a day, I would easily burn around 2800 calories a day couple that with eating only about 11-1200 a day, I WAS A MESS!!!!
I dabbled with “dieting” concepts like low carb, low fat, high fat, intermittent fasting……I dabbled with all of these for about a month and still the scale wasn’t moving!!
I literally came to my breaking point at the beginning of May.
Granted our family was under a TON of stress with Jeff being in finals and graduation and our move, it was a heavily stressful time, but even during this time I was still killing it in the gym and counting calories religiously.
Sure I thought the stress was causing my body to stall and even gain, but truth be told I started eating like CRAP again (thank you intermittent fasting, a food addict’s worst way of eating because it gives you ample room to cheat, but that’s for another post)
So my breaking point came the end of the week where at the beginning of the week I weighed 206 (my lowest to date weight), By the end of the week I weighed 214 and it freaked me out!!! I still had a ways to go and to see the scale, so close to being out of the 200s, inch its way back up caused not only a panic attack but some serious self-doubt.
I started to question EVERYTHING and so by the end of the wee, devastated, in tears and feeling completely defeated, Jeff and I had a long heart-to-heart where I told him, I was just sick of it all!! I was tired. I was tired of killing it in the gym and being afraid of food.I was tired of going to counseling every week and focusing on food. I was tired of chasing a certain number on the scale. I was tired of it all and I didn’t know where to turn anymore.
Sidenote: I had been telling Jeff for months that once we moved to Houston, I wanted to start working with Keith Kline. You see, I had been listening to Keith’s podcast called Beyond Diet, so Jeff was fully aware that once we moved I was asking to work with Keith at least by my birthday (November)
So my massive meltdown and subsequent desire to quit it all led to Jeff and I discussing me working with Keith’s program prior to November.
Thank God, Jeff is a supportive, amazingly loving husband who doesn’t want to see me fail!!
I booked the appointment and met with Keith’s girlfriend Kim. Now most bariatric patients would be appalled that I would pay for nutrition services, especially since nutritionists are available through your bariatric programs. Here’s my take on that……
- I needed someone to give me a VERY specific plan that’s why I’m paying.
- Bariatric nutrition programs SUCK for bariatric patients like me who aren’t willing to eat ¼ c of food a day and never exercise. Like I’ve said before my approach to this weight loss option is VERY different than most, therefore I need someone in my corner with a specific plan.
- Since I’m paying and being closely supervised, I cannot and will NOT help you with your nutrition. I cannot tell you how many bariatric and non-bariatric family and Facebook friends have contacted me to help them with their nutrition…..my thoughts on this….
- I am PAYING someone so why would I give that information out for free? This may seem heartless to you, but it’s freedom for me, sorry if that offends you but that’s not my problem (like I said, meet the new Angie)
- 9 out of 10 times those who have contacted me and I’ve given out advice….NEVER follow it!! I think this ticks me off more than anything because it screams to me “your time isn’t really valuable to me!!”
- I AM NOT educated OR certified in any form of nutrition consultation, therefore, do not ask me…..um kay?!
- Make this journey your own….figure out how that looks for you, NOONE can do it for you friend.
I can however tell you how I found the program I’m working with…….
I had a friend suggest I start listening to nutrition, weight loss podcasts so I did a search in my podcast app on my iPhone. I came across Beyond Diet and started listening to several episodes. It just made sense to me, what they were saying. I liked it. So I hunted down the contributor to Beyond Diet, Keith Kline, found him on Facebook and noticed he is a mutual friend of several of the bodybuilders and athletes I follow. Then BINGO learned he’s in Houston. Coincidence? I think not!!! I think God had this all planned out for me from the beginning. He’s good like that!!
As a sidenote: if you don’t live close to a program where you can physically go in an office to see a nutritionist, I know my program will work with you via online consultation, but you have to ask.
So as I embark on this journey, I am excited for the first time in a long time!! I feel like I did immediately following surgery. Where I just knew that having the sleeve would put me on the path I had been desperately searching for prior. I feel the exact same way now….I just know that working with my nutritionist is putting me on the path I need to be on to finally reach my goals!!