So wow my life, at the current moment is full of stress!!!!! Yesterday was the culmination of five years of my husband attending college A couple of those years he was working full time, attending college while helping me recover from a stroke. It was hairy at best, but yesterday I watched the fruition of all his hard work come to an end as he walked across the stage to receive his degree. Pride, joy, excitement would all be an understatement to describe how I was feeling!! This man of mine has worked so hard and put everything he had into studying long, late nights to graduate, with honors. Yes, pride doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel……..but with those positive emotions comes a nagging fear as well.
Because once again we find ourselves in the middle of packing, sorting, purging and getting ready to move across the country, and start over.
This dance isn’t new.
We’ve moved to 3 different states (Texas being the 4th) in 14 short years of marriage.
I hate moving and am so thankful we are not military, I just couldn’t handle it!!
Yes it’s exciting to “start over” recreate our lives into anything we want. But it’s also scary, especially when we’ve been planted in one spot for the last 8 years (Missouri) but
I know that God has great things in store for us in Texas and that excites me!! Plus I absolutely LOVE Houston!! So I’m more excited than scared.
However, knowing my past pattern of dealing with fear.
Which is to freak out…… weigh daily and switch up my nutrition in an effort to control control control. I asked my friend DeLisa to hold me accountable to originally not weighing every day. And she has been…… she sends me a text every morning with words of encouragement on how my worth is not wrapped up in the number on the scale, or things like “only a couple more days until you weigh” etc. It’s been so helpful in keeping me off the scale!! I successfully stayed off the scale for a week at a time and I know it’s because I had this accountability…..
Then my worst fear came true……
I stayed off the scale for a consecutive week and in the first week lost 2.6lbs……YES, that was encouraging and reinforcing the fact to stay off the scale. I felt great, on top of cloud 9, then the second week hit I had GAINED 3lbs, granted it was probably not a true loss the week prior OR it was due to the gallon and a half of water, green tea and unsweet tea I had drank the night before, regardless who knows, but I was devastated. So take all those emotions and couple them with the sheer craziness that is my life and you have the perfect recipe for: Angie wanting to switch up her nutrition and control everything again!!
Thankfully, this time was different though!!!
DeLisa, knowing me well, knew this has been my pattern and asked me yesterday if I wanted her to start asking me if I’m holding true to the ADF nutrition, and just before she asked me this question God had already been speaking to my heart about the need to hold fast and stay consistent with ADF until I start seeing a nutritionist in June in Houston. Isn’t God good? Seriously……no joke, I was having that same thought only an hour prior to her asking me!!!
I’m still only planning on weighing once a week, after a down day IF I’m feeling “lighter” in my body and from now on I will not be affected by the number on the scale. Oh and that’s another major breakthrough. Yesterday when I weighed in and I was up 3 lbs, yes it took me about 2 hours to really talk myself though it, yes it majorly affected my morning workout (I didn’t do what I normally do for cardio, because I felt efeated) BUT I was able to talk myself through it and not allow it to completely overshadow the joyous day that was yesterday, this was MAJOR victory!!!!
So in the meantime, in the midst of the crazy, I will continue to be accountable to my friend DeLIsa and even though I’m moving and she’s traveling across the country, she’ll be faithful in holding me accountable and I’ll gladly accept the help.
- So my plan at this point is to try to really trust the ADF process and not freak out and start changing things up.
- Fully commit to working with Kim and do whatever she says (this will be hard and another blog post for another day)
- Weigh weekly, depending on how I feel in my body
- Look for victories that are non scale related, like how my clothes fit, how I feel etc.
- Hopefully not gain to much before starting with Kim, but I’m not going to worry about a gain at this point because A) I don’t know what else to do, hence the appointment with Kim and B) my life is so stressful at the moment I just can’t be concerned with it. Now granted I know I’m not going to put back on the 100lbs I lost, so I’ll be mindful but I’m not going to stress if I’m not losing fot the next couple of weeks
In the end, I feel like this final key, accountability is exactly what I need to continue to move toward my goals of being healthy mentally and physically. I’m so thankful that God has brought such a caring, loving and supportive friend into my life!! We all need accountability!!