Was it all a lie?

I love Dr. Phil, I even record him and watch him almost daily. I just think he is a huge inspiration and helps people. I like that. I like him.

Well on Friday he ran a show about this gorgeous guy who is addicted to cocaine and steroid use. This guy, Jamie, is a fitness model, so it kinda hit close to home for me as I follow a ton of fitness models and bodybuilders on Facebook. I realize Facebook isn’t real life. I get it. But I guess because I live so openly and honestly on there that I just come to expect the same from others, I just assume the fitness models and bodybuilders I follow are getting into the best shape of their life their life through diet and exercise, sadly, I’m learning this is not the case for some or most even.

So back to Jamie…..he looked familiar to me on Friday and then it hit me today (the show continue into today), he’s a fitness model that I follow on Facebook and I was blown away.

Mostly because to look at this guy you would NEVER know he 1) is a cocaine addict 2) takes steroids (or at least I wouldn’t’ have assumed that) AND I realize that he’s an addict so his super self-righteous attitude and behavior was the addict speaking.

I guess today’s show hit me hard because for the first time in a year it dawned on me that people can be whomever they want to be on Facebook. I mean, no one has to be honest. So it has me reeling and wondering how many of these “athletes” that I follow are actually drug free? Or live an honest life on Facebook. After seeing this show, I’m thinking not many and it makes me sad…..but what I learned today about myself is worth the hearth break.

Today, after watching this show and feeling let down, I realized that any desire I had, albeit remote, to do a bodybuilding show is now and forever dead. I just have NO desire now. Sure I tossed the idea around in my head last summer and even entertained it a bit last fall, but NO THANK YOU!!!! While I’m convinced I have the drive and determination to get into tip top shape, I just don’t want to be involved with a sport where steroid use is common place. I’m not judging, I’m just saying, I don’t want to lose more respect for the art than I already have after today’s show.

So once the thought of never really getting into that type of shape hit today it had me scrambling and questioning what I do want and that is as follows….as of today, but could change…..

  1. I want to inspire people to live a healthy life. I believe this is only really achieved through diet and exercise. With NO room for steroid or any other form of drug use.
  2. I want to inspire people to live a honest life, however that looks to them. I know for me, it’s about being honest with myself about the food that I choose to eat or use to cope.
  3. I want to be at a healthy weight, which is 180
  4. I want to run a 5K in the Fall in Houston
  5. I want to find some sport that I enjoy, I’m good at and is challenging, the verdict is still out on what that may be? Running? Perhaps, but time will tell….

As for future goals, I am still tossing around the idea of becoming a certified personal trainer, but that wouldn’t happen for a couple of years, so we’ll see…

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