It’s been a couple of interesting weeks for me personally. I started intermittent fasting on the 12th and was just getting the hang of it, BUT I’ve decided it’s not the healthiest form of nutrition for me. You see I was going a little crazy on my high days, indulging in things that I wouldn’t normally have prior. IE: dougnnuts, junk etc. Sure it was fun for a moment and yes those sugary foods taste amazing, BUT I’ve literally been paying with my health for the last week or so.
You see prior to my surgery on 2/3/14 I was a chronic daily migraine sufferer, meaning, I never went 24 hours without some form of head pain, be it mild/nagging to so severe I would end up in the ER. Seriously, I’m not lying, not one moment in a 24 hour period without pain. At times, I did think about checking out of life but never really thought about suicide, however, I remember one particular migraine that lasted 36 hours long, that I thought, “wow if I weren’t such a coward I could just kill myself”….thankfully, I haven’t had a dark moment like that since…..
When I decided to have the sleeve surgery, my primary focus was to get off cholesterol meds, BP meds and become healthy. Slowly, I’m leaving behind some medications but in that process I’ve also managed )through diet and exercise) to lessen my migraines so much to the point that I had only had ONE last summer in Texas and it wasn’t terrible, it kept me from the gym that day but beyond that, nothing to serious……
Until this week.
HOLY MACREL I have been suffering……again nothing compared to what I used to endure (sidenote: it’s interesting how I used to deal with the pain, now the slightest bit of pain and I turn into a wuss) but enough of a headache that this morning at the gym, I wasn’t able to give the normal 110% I’m used to giving. Sure I managed to gimp along through my workout, but I battled the inner voice of “why are you here you feel miserable?” I just pushed thought, but it scared me!! It scared me because I remember a year ago just kinda checking out of life when a migraine would hit. I would take strong meds to knock myself out and sometimes over took them because I just couldn’t deal with the after effects of the pain and the ravenous hunger I would literally get up from a migraine med induced fog and down loads of sugar, thinking it would “wake me up” and be good for me……oh my goodness I was a mess, don’t judge me, I’m just being honest…..
I had forgotten how ugly sugar is to me, how it’s literally my demon….Sugar (doughnuts, muffins, cookies, cakes) gives me horrendous migraines and I can NOT believe I not only lived like that but I’ve been dancing on the edge of that the last couple of weeks…..it’s almost like once again God is saving me from myself….again……Seriously at just the right moment, I was chosen to work with a personal trainer for a consistency program and involved in that program is diet and exercise. Now yes I know what the right things to do and eat, but I had taken a major detour and got lost in the land of sugar and junk food…..I started my sugar detox today and it’s been rough, but I know in 21 days it will be worth it and my healthy will be back on track.
The MAJOR lesson I learned in this detour is that my health is the most important part of this journey and I will not compromise it!!!