I was really encouraged after my counseling session on Monday. My counselor said, “I think you’ve turned a corner” and you know what? I think she’s right!!
What was she talking about?
My fear/obsession with calories and how they impact my body.
You see, I’ve been in counseling for a year.
In that year, I’ve literally eaten 9-1100 calories a day and yes it served me well for that year, my body lost a little over 100lbs, but then about 2 weeks ago I hit a funk. My weight was fluxing up and slightly down, my BP was increasing so I knew that I had gained a little. I was freaking out because my goal was to lose another 50lbs. Then my best friend said to me, “Angie there was a time (when I hit 100lbs lost) that you said “if I don’t lose another pound, I’m completely content with where I’m at) You see I was happy with my weight loss, happy with my healthy, active lifestyle and completely trusting God with my process. Apparently, I got away from that because I started feeling panic again…..panic that I wasn’t ever going to make it under 200….panic that I wouldn’t hit my goal. I not only panicked, I reverted back into old habits of freaking out and changing everything I could think…..
Then I called my nutritionist…
She scraped me off the ceiling and told me to STOP weighing daily and to change only ONE thing at a time.
So I heeded her advice and only changed one thing at a time.
I’m still in that process.
Last week’s change was adding a second cardio session 3 days a week.
Then this week’s change was increasing my calories…..which was HUGE for this girl who has watched calories SO VERY CLOSELY.
Meanwhile, while all of this internal battle was going on in me, A LOT of prayer was happening as well.
So on Monday in counseling, I told my counselor what I felt like God was doing in my heart and that’s to step out In faith and trust Him with my food/calories/weight loss/ and activity level. She smiled by the time I had finished telling her what God’s been doing in my heart and said, “Angie I was planning to challenge you this week about increasing your calories but it sounds like God is already doing that!”
WOW what an intimate and personal God I love!!
So I’m back on track as far as at this point, I’m proud of the lifestyle changes I’ve made. As far as food choices, getting fit and staying active. I’m more present in my daily life, which I love. I know that I will eventually get under 200 lbs., but for the first time in a year I don’t have a goal date in mind and guess what? I’m perfectly at peace with that. Yes I’m back at resting in God’s peace for my life and still just taking it one day at a a time!