Beyond Frustrated Today!!!!!!!!

I’m walking into unchartered territory, once again and I’m scared!!

Lately, I feel like giving up on this whole thing. I am feeling really frustrated and downcast. You see, I was going along pretty good, losing weight. Then I increased my cardio activity and got a little lax on my diet and BAM the scale went UP……ARGH!!! I’m beyond frustrated and I don’t really know what else to do besides clean up my nutrition a bit. I’m toying with the idea of increasing my calories. I’ve been researching how many calories I need to lose weight and the majority of internet sites I’ve found have me in taking between 1800-2400 calories a day, um what?!!!! This flies in the face of the bariatric world and calories that you eat with having had the surgery. I feel like a kid, kicking and screaming at the idea of increasing my calories. Part of my brain says,” you’ll gain weight, you’ll lose all the ground you’ve gained with already losing 100lbs” then the other part of my brain says,” but Angie you work out like a crazy woman and your body probably needs the extra calories, you could be in starvation mode, what the worst thing that could happen? You gain weight? You know how to take it off if you do gain, give it a try, what do you have to lose?

Because according to the treadmill, after I enter my weight, it calculates I burn roughly 1000 to 1200 calories walking on a 15 incline for an hour. I realize that most people say this is inaccurate, but I am not looking for definite numbers, just a baseline. So I use this number in my fitness pal. Since I’ve started to add a second cardio, I burn over 2,000 calories and I eat about 1100-1200 calories a day and still nothing….the scale is not moving….WHAT THE HECK?!!!!!!

So I’m beyond frustrated, maybe I’m broken and my body has stopped losing weight? Seriously though, I mentally can’t handle not losing under 200 lbs. So I’m having serious buyers remorse today, has the sleeve failed me?  Am I being too ambitious to think I could lose 158lbs with the sleeve, doing it differently than the normal bariatric approach? CRAP I’m frustrated today and seriously could cry. Please tell me I’m not alone here?? Please tell me this is normal and I WILL get to my goal weight….please tell me I’ll either get to my goal weight or I won’t, but this in between bologna is killing me!!

So here I am at a crossroads AGAIN…..freaking unbelievable!!!!!!!!! Kicking and screaming I’m going to try increasing my calories by adding a 6th meal and see where that gets me In a few days.

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