I am a child of God

So yesterday was a hard but good day.

I had unknowingly gotten wrapped up in fear.

You see I had been bouncing between 212-214 with only one day registering at 211.4.  I was bouncing between these numbers for over a week and I was getting frustrated. Was it a stall? Was I at a set point? I just didn’t know and I was terrified that I was done losing. Thankfully, yesterday was my weekly counseling session. As I was talking to my counselor, she observed that I seemed stressed and a bit panicked. I started talking about calories and numbers again. Something I’ve been trying to let go of for about a month now and honestly was getting to a good place with until this last week. I had really gotten to a place where I was losing consistently, eating nutritiously and exercising well. I had come to the conclusion that IF I continued with this lifestyle that I would get to my goal weight.

Then I hit this window where the scale wouldn’t move passed 212 and I was frustrated!!

So I talked to my counselor, I even went as far to say, “well maybe I shouldn’t be eating Greek yogurt”  blah blah blah….seriously Greek yogurt was the “worst” thing I was eating and I was questioning that!

So she asked me, “when was the last time you weighed around 212?”

And then it hit me….

The last time I weighed around that weight was right after brain surgery in 2002!!!

BINGO….

I started to cry

I felt overwhelmed

I wasn’t at a stall

Or at my set point

My body was remembering trauma I had experienced in 2002 and holding on for dear life.

My heart says I trust God with my body, but my mind was saying a whole heck of a lot of other stuff.

So she challenged me to start telling my body, “It’s ok to lose weight!” She also challenged me to start researching the body, trauma connection. So I am.

I’ve just started researching

And yesterday….ALL day I was telling my body, “body its ok to lose weight” and praying, asking God to allow my body to lose weight because after all, I truly believe NOTHING happens outside of His knowledge or will.  Then this morning I weighed in at 210.6…I’LL TAKE IT!!!

I don’t know yet about all of this, but I can tell you I’m willing to challenge my thinking and declare that I will no longer be a slave to fear. Fear has robbed me of so much in this life and it will not any longer!!

One song that I’ve come across and is now on my cardio playlist is called “No Longer Slaves” by Written by Jonathan David Helser & Melissa Helser
©2014 Bethel Music

Here are the words, I think they are powerful, or at least for me they are…..

Verse 1

Bb

You unravel me, with a melody

Eb

You surround me

F

with a song

Bb

Bb

Of deliverance, from my enemies

Till

Eb

all my

F

fears are

Bb

gone

Chorus

I’m no

Eb

longer a

F

slave to fear

Bb

I

Gm

am a

F

child of

Bb

God

Verse 2

From my Mothers

Bb

womb

You have chosen me

Dm

Eb

Love has

F

called my

Bb

name

I’ve been born

Bb

again, into your

Bb

family

Dm

Your

Eb

blood flows

F

through my veins

Bb

Interlude

Gm

F

Bb

Eb

Bridge

Gm

You split the

F

sea, so I could

Bb

walk right

Eb

through

it

Gm

All my fears were

F

drowned in

F

perfect

Bb

love

Eb

Gm

You rescued me

F

, so I could

Bb

stand and sing

Eb

I

Gm

am child

F

of

Bb

God

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