Oh my goodness, I FINALLY get it!!!
Today I had a HUGE revelation…….
I may not be at the weight that I had hoped to be at by my one year mark. Initially I wanted to be at 197 that would have put me at 100lbs down from my day of surgery weight. As my date drew closer, I shifted my expectation to 100 lbs down from my highest weight of 315…..Once I made the shift to my highest weight life got a little simpler.
It seems so stupid, but I got so wrapped up in the numbers, especially in the beginning, that I almost forgot to enjoy the process.
You hear people say things like, “enjoy the process” “enjoy the ride” blah blah blah
I NEVER understood it
I’ll be honest…
I had been fat, sick and tired for sooooooo long that just the idea of losing a significant amount of weight was exciting to me
My expectations were whacked!!
I seriously expected to lose like 80lbs in 2 weeks…..haha, I know, right?!
BUT in the bariatric world it seems like this should happen…..
Between doctor’s expectations and Facebook “support” groups, it seemed like everyone was losing half a person in a blink of an eye. So when I didn’t seem to be losing that half of person as quickly, I started freaking out.
I did the normal things
the most lethal was comparing my journey to everyone else’s. Once I started doing that I became unhappy and completely discouraged.
Thankfully, while I was comparing myself to everyone else, I was implementing good lifestyle habit changes like proper nutrition (something NOT encouraged in the bariatric world, see previous posts on nutrition) and exercise.
I’ll be honest, it’s taken me 11 months to get to this point and I’m glad I won’t hit my goal of 197 by Feb 3.
Because had I, I would have missed out on learning to appreciate and respect my body.
In fact, I didn’t even realize I had learned this lesson until today when in a bariatric group a newbie was concerned her weight loss is slow and she should be down more weight.
This conversation had me telling her things I had been told only 11 short months ago
As I’m typing what had been said to me,
it hit me…..
Thank God I’m no longer 4 weeks post op!
Thank you God that I started counseling early to deal with unrealistic expectations!!
And thank you God that You’ve shown me to respect and fear this vessel that YOU’VE created.
Because in the end….
It’s my whole hearted opinion
That my body is God’s.
HE can cause me to lose weight as quickly or as slowly as He decides.
I will get to my goal weight because I’ve implemented the right lifestyle changes needed to get there because HE has been gracious and compassionate with me. Leading me to the people who have helped me with nutrition and exercise throughout this process….so if He is like this with me, why am I not gracious and compassionate with myself?
Most importantly, I’ll get there because God has ordained it! And so it will be!
Sure it’s not going to happen in the next 7 days and I’m totally ok with that because it WILL HAPPEN!!