Fail to Plan=Plan to Fail

So I’ll be honest.

I am terrified to be around extended family for Christmas this year!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited to see everyone, but I’m terrified of the food choices that I’ll be surrounded by.

As a food addict, you recognize that you have no control over your compulsive need to eat. My triggers are emotional. My Michigan family and friends are emotional. People are emotional. Situations involving people are emotional. Christmas is an emotional season.

You see? I’m kinda freaking out!!

I’ve been talking, at length, to my counselor for MONTHS about our trip home for the holidays. This will be our last journey home to see family & friends at Christmas. We’ve done this the last several years because our lives have always been in flux, college life makes it easy to travel at Christmas because my husband has about a month off. However, this time next year, he’ll be working, we will no longer be living the college life. Plus I want to start our own traditions once we are settled. So this is our last year home……

I’m struggling.

I want to enjoy myself, my family and my friends. But it seems like they are always surrounded with food. That food has to be part of that enjoyment. My counselor says this is why food addiction is so difficult. We need to eat to survive. We don’t need alcohol to survive. Lucky me, I get the addiction that’s just a little bit harder…..story of my life :/

So what is my plan?

Plan to succeed, right?

For starters, I’ve asked my mom not to bake a few certain types of cookies that I know I would binge on given the right circumstances. She has agreed, but I’m frightened she may not follow through. So our plan, when we get there is IF there is a ton of baked goods, and crap food, we’ll ask her if she will put it up. Out of sight, out of mind Worst case scenario, if she won’t (which my mom isn’t like that), we will physically leave their house. It’s that serious to me. It has to be!

I will not regain the 90+ lbs I’ve lost. I will not go down flaming over holiday foods!! I will NOT.

Beyond this, the only other plans I’ve thought through are:

I will meal prep before going, yes we’ll take pre bagged, measured grilled chicken and veggies in a cooler This will be how I eat in the car during the 14 hour ride. Along with protein shakes, and lots of gum.

Then when we are there, I will go to the grocery store and get all of my food that I would normally eat at home. Chicken, veggies, egg whites, oatmeal, etc. I will meal prep just like I do at home, but at my family’s house.

Since I’m a member at Anytime Fitness, I will utilize their facilities in the different locations we’ll be visiting, yes I will continue to exercise just like I do at home. For 2 reasons: 1) I have to stay on a schedule as this prevents migraines (routine), 2) I will NOT gain weight over the holidays….will NOT!!

Exercise is only half of the battle and remember it’s the easiest part for me. Diet is the other 80% and my biggest struggle. I haven’t decided if I will “have a bite” of anything outside of my norm, still deciding on that one. I will make that decision by next week. In the meantime, I do plan to have my next scheduled cheat meal on Christmas Eve. My mom makes a big deal out of Christmas Eve, she makes a bunch of appetizers that we have after candle light service. It’s a tradition. So on that day, I will eat super clean all day, and then enjoy, in moderation, some of the appetizers she makes. This, along with my visit to my grandma’s house are the only two really familiar circumstances I’ll be in. My grandma makes 2 dishes that I’ve loved since I was a kid. Potato salad and cheese potatoes. Since my grandma is having a hard time understanding this food addiction I’ve talked to her about. I will have a bite of her potato salad and cheese potatoes. I figure she’s 88 years old and is attempting to understand, but she’s specially asked me if I can have a spoonful of these 2 items (she makes them just for me). I told her yes. I know in the back of my mind, they probably won’t taste as good as I remember…..this has been par for the course since my taste buds have changed. But I will take a bite to appease her.

In the meantime, Jeff and I are working on coming up with “safe words” that I can use so he knows I’m really being tempted while we are home. That way, he knows he has to get me out of whatever situation I’m in ASAP. Because my husband loves me, he’s agreed!

So far, these are my plans to deal with this upcoming emotionally charged holiday. My overall goal is to lose 1 lbs during the 3 weeks that we are home. I refuse to gain!! I’m to close to the end game to blow it now!!

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